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winter is almost here (10/3/2023)

  

why am i always the one awake while i make a patient onlooker of the cold and blinding winter because winter isn’t dark, not nearly enough as the white sky scorches the bareness of empty fields and grey bark the dead leaves seem to reflect it all across the frozen yards my own skin loosens its color and turns frost bitten, chapped and raw i ask myself why did you come here i feel so bad for you this place is not a good one to be trapped in this life ive tried escaping but now you’re here trying to escape it too

i remember when we both were drowning and i held close to you in your childhood bedroom as the dust of it all and the dog hair made me cough my lungs out the wii and your half laughing dictation under thick and heavy childhood blankets cramped and close in corners of rooms as you opened the window and let the cold seep in maybe it protected you like fixing a tumor in your lungs with fresh mountain air chilling the sickness out of you there’s a sense of hatred here, i could feel it or maybe i was just feeling you

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